Last piece of Cup punditry

Imitating a report from the

Guardian

Best player Zinédine Zidane. Whatever Materazzi said, the things Zidane did dressed in white in the four final matches put him in the same place as Maradona, above Cruyff and Platini, which means, definitely one of the greats ever. Fare you well.

Worst player Roberto Carlos. Did not attack, did not defend, failed miserably in the elimination goal and claimed it was not his fault. Next time he'd better not say 'there's an 80% chance Brazil wins'. Jackass.

Biggest gripe Asian and Central American football. There should be one place for each, and for the sake of diplomacy only.

Biggest joy Watch Argentina attack Serbia, Germany attack Ecuador, Spain attack Ukraine and Brazil attack Japan. That is the dictionary definition of flair.

Best match Argentina v Serbia. OK, I watched it in Buenos Aires so I may be a little bit biased. But it was, holy cow, amazing football.

Worst match France v Korea. I did not watch Switzerland v Ukraine and I was told it was worse. Lucky me. I only endured this white-against-pink thing because I was in an airport lounge at 3 am.

Best quote "Gilberto is playing so well, it's gonna be fucking hard to put Emerson back" - Parreira caught by TV lipsynch.

England in one word Anticlimax.

Team of tournament (4-4-2) Buffon; Zambrotta, Cannavaro, Rafael Marquez, Grosso; Zokora, Frings, Ze Roberto, Zidane; Saviola, Podolski.